The pressure from our peers and family is the key to our insecurity.
Insecurity is what makes our fragile, frail, feeble thoughts creep upon us. Insecurity is what makes us stay up till 3 am worrying about who we are, whether it be at school, or at work, no matter age we still feel insecure about ourselves. This is the reality of today’s society caught up in a storm of opinions.
Everyday, we get up, get ready, look at ourselves in the dirty old horizontal bathroom mirror, rushing out the door to catch the bus, but thoughts start coming to our mind, just to check in the mirror once again, just to check if everything is set “perfect”. But are we ready?
In our culture today we are constantly forced to act and feel emotions. The picture has to be “perfect”. We can’t be seen on the lowest version of ourselves. We need permission to fail, and when we don’t, love is needed.
Pressure cuts deep, and the reality is: it hurts.
Pressure is often placed on teens, to meet a certain standard in our daily lives, automatically rating our self worth by our success in life. But where does these unreachable standards come from?
I believe that’s what we need. Less pressure needs to be put upon us, the shouting from our parents, and everything in between. We are not a computer, we are human.
Most of this pressure comes from our parents – who believe, they know everything about us. But they don’t. They know nothing. They don’t know what I, as a teenager is going through. And last, they don’t know the fearful pressure they are putting on us, creating fears of coming home with a less successful score in the grading book.
We sit in the cold classroom, with the aircons going on full blow and can feel the air rushing through my dark blond hair away, trying not feel like a horrible person for getting a bad grade, trying to hide the tear forming in the corner of my eye. I often avoid eye contact with the smart student sitting at the back, waiting for them to ask what grade I received.
We are scared. We are embarrassed. I often say, “I know I am bad”, “You know I am stupid”. But why? But why do I have to say these phrases to protect the insecurity inside of me. Because we are taught, that if we don’t do great, we cannot succeed, and therefore something is horribly wrong.
We cannot become something great in life. We are failures. The thoughts are buried deeply into the soul of my body, making a hole, that seems like it can’t be heeled. It seems endless. But I want to show you wrong. Being the best at everything and succeeding in life, is one big mistake we all make. It’s not possible. Well, at least that is what I think. I believe it’s important to fail, to make mistakes and maybe get to the rock bottom, because we learn to fight. We learn that life is not just one shiny rainbow. And it makes us human.
Let us be ourselves, let us fail at being the best, let us learn. Let us be.
Morin, Amy, and Lcsw. “Consequences Kids May Experience If You’re a High-Pressure Parent.” Verywell Family, 8 Jan. 2019, www.verywellfamily.com/the-dangers-of-putting-too-much-pressure-on-kids-1094823.
Jakarta Post, Aarya Sinha. “Parental Pressure: A Fine Line between Caring and Caring Too Much.” The Jakarta Post, 2 May 2016, www.thejakartapost.com/life/2016/05/02/parental-pressure-a-fine-line-between-caring-and-caring-too-much.html.
Budzienski, Jaime. “The Effects of Academic Parental Pressure on Kids.” Living The Bump, 21 Nov. 2017, living.thebump.com/effects-academic-parental-pressure-kids-10380.html.